tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-121780022012-01-23T00:00:02.581-06:00PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.comBlogger241100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-8117655051100101672011-12-16T01:20:00.002-06:002011-12-16T01:27:33.504-06:00

I opened the local paper today and the headline article read “1 in 5 women hurt by rape”. Now before some scoffmiester starts whining that it’s just another inflammatory bogus survey by a biased group, keep reading. The survey was run by the CDC with the help of the National Institute of Justice and the Department of Defence. The article goes on to say that 1 in 4 were the subject of domestic

Rickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00061103281275866770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-16165488209499044962011-11-30T18:16:00.001-06:002011-11-30T18:16:56.011-06:00

The holidays are here. For those of us who have survived domestic violence and share children from that partnership, this is an especially trying time. Forgetting, for now the increased financial difficulties of travel, holiday gift giving costs and child support, there's the very real problem of visitation times themselves. For most of us, there are no protections; courts no longer feel

SlipOfAGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09285083992520700199noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-65179654459377852292011-11-15T02:40:00.003-06:002011-11-15T02:48:58.494-06:00

Can you hear silence?An odd question perhaps but the idea for that question came to me several days ago. I was in a restaurant that I go to often. The woman who waited on our table that day was one of the owners. Over time we, my wife and I and the woman have become casual friends. I have met her husband who we frequently see at the restaurant also. As she came to the table with our menus I

Rickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00061103281275866770noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-10723275684419563162011-11-11T00:23:00.001-06:002011-11-11T00:25:25.910-06:00

Only the second blog and I’m changing the sequence already. I just couldn’t make it work, writing about being supportive without first talking about respect. So, here we go!A Home must respect youA Home is or should be an environment of mutual support and respect. The Home is where you need to feel valued most of all. When you walk in that door you need to know that you are in a place where you

Rickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00061103281275866770noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-32487989770048246242011-10-18T01:58:00.002-05:002011-10-20T16:50:58.263-05:00

What a Home should, MUST be. I want to start this off by making a few points about what this is and is not. These are my feelings on what is necessary to have a thriving and happy Home. I had to arrange them into individual topics just to keep me from rambling too much. In an effort to not cover the same ground over and over I should let you know what the topics will be (as of now). A Home must

Rickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00061103281275866770noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-83769886622027766192011-10-17T17:30:00.001-05:002011-10-17T17:31:05.357-05:00

This video is of United States Marine Corps. Sgt. Shamar Thomas from Roosevelt, NY, who recently went toe-to-toe with the New York Police Department as an activist in the Occupy Wall Street movement. Thomas voiced his opinions of the NYPD police brutality that had and has been plaguing the #OWS movement. When he gets to shouting, "There is no honor in this shit!" and saying, "It takes a coward

Pop Tarthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04737202424252252750noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-59746197054806337992011-10-17T16:13:00.001-05:002011-10-17T16:14:00.931-05:00

At Hexletive, Hex worries about "Choosing Sides" when domestic violence hits your friends -- and you are friends with both parties. There's so much to comment on in this post... Before I begin, it should be said that Hex or Hexy is a survivor herself. Not wishing to squash or second-guess a fellow survivor, I do have to take issue with a few things. And also, to help you follow along, "M" is

Pop Tarthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04737202424252252750noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-51082163266774110212011-08-09T14:10:00.001-05:002011-08-09T14:10:11.827-05:00

In Framing Recovery from Child Sexual Abuse, Lisa Wade discusses anti-child abuse ads which might go too far... The exhibit for discussion (above) is an Italian ad designed to draw attention to the seriousness of child sexual abuse. Does the ad send a "If you have been sexually abused, you will be broken for the rest of your life" message? I'm not a survivor or child abuse, so maybe I should

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-18562746800522980162011-06-04T06:01:00.001-05:002011-10-17T17:33:29.945-05:00

I've been angry. At certain moments in your life you seem either to be faced with what's probably best described as the fight or flight response: you can give in (to others, depression, etc.) or get good and angry and fight back. I don't mean with your fists -- at least not at another person; I mean you can fight for yourself, your children, your family, your rights. As a recovering victim of

SlipOfAGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09285083992520700199noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-86833485520841023132011-05-20T07:36:00.000-05:002011-05-20T07:36:10.026-05:00

These are recent cases of victim bashing in cases of rape, but as domestic violence is less significant in terms of media coverage... The Latest Victim-Blamers: The New York Times? What's HIV Got to Do With It? New York Post Violates Alleged Victim's Rights in Strauss-Kahn Case

Pop Tarthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04737202424252252750noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-70934600172579457182011-04-28T06:15:00.001-05:002011-04-28T06:15:34.486-05:00

After a traumatic event, how you see things changes. Quite literally. When you survive domestic violence, you often aren't allowed this fact of life. Recognizing or acknowledging to others how you've been affected by the trauma(s) is a "luxury" you can't afford because the perceptions & projections -- along with observable deeds and actual words of other people already accuse you of not getting

Pop Tarthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04737202424252252750noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-52971967577358732912011-03-13T14:18:00.001-05:002011-10-17T17:34:52.837-05:00

You're too young to understand all this, and despite what your father does -- including you in his rants about subjects which are not for children -- I'm not going to tell you this... When you are older and can understand it all, there will be time for the realities. For now, I simply must say it. Baby, I know it's been months since I've seen you -- and it probably will be a few more. I

SlipOfAGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09285083992520700199noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-81906336643083411182011-02-10T23:02:00.003-06:002011-02-10T23:45:31.564-06:00

When I was asked to join Penile Code Avenger, and its sister-site, More Than Surviving, Thriving, I was excited to begin. I even wrote about it at my personal blog. But when it came time to actually participate... I felt like I was on stage, on the exam table, feet in the stirrups, speculum in place, under a spotlight -- with the whole show up on the JumboTron for those folks in the cheap seats.

Miss FussyPantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05302022216459518086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-16350206723914068142010-05-17T00:38:00.002-05:002011-02-10T23:48:40.337-06:00

I'm watching the "very special domestic violence" episode of Army Wives right now. It's 37 minutes through and I'm pretty sure that this is going to focus and end on the usual cliches. UPDATE: OK, like I thought, the whole focus of the show was on how a woman "should be big and brave enough to leave." Yeah, we've heard that message for decades; that's not the problem. The problem is what

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1118801175174291242005-06-14T20:59:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:39:19.617-05:00

In the USA we have "Truth, Justice & The American Way." But let me tell you what "The American Way" is – it's the fundamental law that penis equals right.Yes, in the good ol' USA, "the land of the free, and home of the brave," the country that currently runs around trying to liberate the huddled masses elsewhere, women are still property. Troublesome property at that.It's the old patriarchal

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1118652034594916472005-06-13T03:39:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:43:18.333-05:00

From the Latin rapere which means "to seize or take by force," the origin of "rape" was war. It was used to describe acts such as looting, destruction and capture of citizens. Even today the act of rape is an acceptable wartime practice and the connotation remains. When men rape women, it indicates war, even in civilized society. Since one in four women will be raped in our country, I believe we

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1118126364904960012005-06-07T01:35:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:42:13.795-05:00

Just as man invents and constructs technological artifacts which are to serve him and fulfill his desires, so woman as she has been socially invented and constructed, is expected to reflect man's need to be the natural vessel of man's reproductive capacity, a mere bodily extension of the male's procreative powers. From After the Great Divide: Modernism, Mass Culture, Postmodernism (Theories of

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1117739826811540182005-06-02T14:03:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:44:21.938-05:00

Her hearing has not failed yet you repeatedly find it necessary to shout. How are you able to shout so loud wuth a mouth full of pride? Your pride needs to be swallowed or spit out. You demand that she spend more time in the house that you own, with a frequent emphasis on your ownership, yet you're rarely there, confining her to a humbling solitude. A solitude that once hurt until she learned to

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1117076898977341702005-05-25T22:07:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:45:49.073-05:00

Yes, I watch the Dr. Phil Show from time to time, it comes on directly after one of my soaps, so sometimes, if laundry folding runs a bit long, or the TV drug has taken effect, I keep it on. That's not the only reason though: He's good. So good, I wish I could have gotten my husband on that show. I would have loved to hear Dr. Phil (or anyone) say classic lines such as "And how's that working

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1117063604287350272005-05-25T18:25:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:47:24.450-05:00

My words fail lately, so here are others: "Let the world stand screaming. You will mute their voices with your life." ~ Pat Parker ~ "Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness." ~ Oprah Winfrey ~ "Courage

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1116383177035745292005-05-17T21:25:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:48:17.067-05:00

Newswise — Pediatric researchers today called on the Department of Defense to investigate the rates of child abuse homicides at military installations across the nation. The appeal from the North Carolina Child Advocacy Institute was prompted by results of its study showing children in jurisdictions with military bases were twice as likely to be killed by a parent or caregiver than other children

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1115861143940012592005-05-11T20:10:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:49:21.858-05:00

I read at Lili G's journal (one of my favorite places on the internet, by the way), that her family's pets are being murdered. Shocking enough, all on its own. But when I went in to make a post about my sorrow for their loss, one of her comments made my already cold blood freeze: "They have a 18 month old Brindle Great Dane/Elephant, but they keep a very close eye on her." I had a Great Dane,

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1115858157344045382005-05-11T19:35:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:50:14.356-05:00

Like a small pebble dropped into a pond, the ripples spread outward, in rings, forever. Long after the ripples are no longer visible to the person on shore, the beings that live there feel them. No one worries about the microscopic organisms that swirl, maimed & hurt. No person on the shore even thinks about them. But the consequences from those rings live on & on. It doesn't matter if it's the

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12178002.post-1113622903303090402005-04-15T22:40:00.001-05:002010-05-17T00:51:13.888-05:00

Louise – Died of a beating given her by the father of her child. The child died with her. He lives today. Say her name – she was 15 years old. Eva – Stabbed through the heart by an angry client. Her last words were, “It hurts. Why?” Say her name – she was 14 years old. Chevy – Passed out during the filming of a snuff flick. She never woke up. They all walked away. Say her name – she was 16 years

PenileCodeAvengerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17197766749566786114noreply@blogger.com3