It doesn't matter if it's the first time, or the 20th time. For if you survive, it happens again, and again, and again. If not by him, then by your family, your friends, the courts & anyone who finds out about it.
It doesn't end in the kitchen. Or the bedroom. Or the backyard. It doesn't end when he returns to washing the dishes. Or returns to the TV set. Or to the fridge for a beer.
It didn't start with that incident. Or that first punch. Or the first stab. Why would it end there?
It doesn't end when your body has healed. Or if in court he's been found guilty of battery. Or when you live separately.
It doesn't end.
It really doesn't. Its been a year since I got out and 10 months since he was found guilty and sentenced. I can't go out alone and I am constantly anxious. People just don't understand because in their eyes its over and done with but for me it may as well have all happened yesterday.
ReplyDeleteAnd when you grow up in that environment, you carry the scars forever. Mentally or physically, you have a part of you that will always remember.
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