Sunday, March 13, 2011

A Note To My Son

You're too young to understand all this, and despite what your father does -- including you in his rants about subjects which are not for children -- I'm not going to tell you this... When you are older and can understand it all, there will be time for the realities. For now, I simply must say it.

Baby, I know it's been months since I've seen you -- and it probably will be a few more. I cannot afford to come see you. It's not just the money for the trip... I am behind in my child support and I fear trouble if I make the trip. It kills me not to see you. It angers me because while it's supposedly fact that child support and visitation are two distinct issues, one impacts the other all the time. But the fact remains that I must be as responsible as possible, do the right thing. Even when it feels so wrong.

I love you. I count on our relationship -- that there will be a future to explain all of this. I know it won't take away your hurt, longing, disappointment, resentment, anger, etc. It won't take away mine either. But at least things will make more sense then. I miss you terribly. More than you'll ever know.

Love, Mom


Rick said...

There is no comment suitable for this post other than a sincere hope that your son will someday have the chance to live and love with his mother the way you both deserve, and that his mind will not be poisoned by a mind so cruel that it shouldn't be trusted with a lab rat, let alone a human being.

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